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shoshy04
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "shoshy04" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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09:48 am
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Just a quick HAPPY BIRTHDAY to CHICA and GUATEMALA!
Have a great time celebrating your birthdays.
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03:20 pm
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Finally an Update
WOW! It's been a little over a month since I was here and I finally have a few minutes to sit down and write a journal. It will never cover all that happened here but at least I can give a few tidbits. At the moment I have finished my seminary classes and am travelling to family around Israel while spending some time with a friend on occassion. At this precise instant I am enjoying my peace at my cousin's house in Haifa. I am here for a couple days and will be taking the train to Tel-Aviv tomorrow.
Where to begin....most of you know I was in seminary for a month. I really won't bore you with all those details. The classes were interesting until the last week or so where I felt I needed a change but didn't have the patience to go change anything as I would only be there a week or so (5 days of classes). Our class structure was mandatory (ya right) classes from 8:30-12:45, optional classes from 1:30-5:30, and then more mandatory classes from 7-9pm. I actually spent almost 2 hours a day taking an optional ulpan (learning hebrew) class and LOVED it. My teacher was amazing andI hope to continue learning the language seeing how I plan to come back one of these days.
I did a lot of shopping and it's cheaper to get clothes here (although my credit card company is giving me a bad exchange rate) and especially Judaica stuff. OOOO the bargaining with everyone. I had such great fun at that. I would walk out on them and they would chase after me to buy. My best deal was getting a friend a platter (nice glass one) down from 400 sheks to 110 sheks...to us Canadians that means a saving of about $100!!
Some other things which I would love to tell in detail is picking up the random guys on Ben Yehuda street. There was one guy we (friends and I) met and for some reason we saw him every other time we went out! It was so flukey! We picked up another guy who had a puppy and we played with the puppy for 2 hours. This guy had lived in Israel for 10 years so his friends kept popping up and he introduced us...they were REALLY cute!
I went to the beach, travelled a bit (always to see family), spent a couple days with Toronto friends, randomly met people from Toronto that I didn't know would be there, and just tried to relax and find my purpose.
Although I am so confused I know what I am doing is right and will continue to learn at home. I just need to find a good balance in terms of the level of religiousness I want to achieve. Slowly slowly. Can't wait to see you all.
I am back on August 8...the plane lands at about 10pm or so. If anyone wants to get in touch my cell number here is 052-598-4485
Cheers
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03:24 pm
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Graduated and Divorced
After 6 hours of standing/sitting in the most unbearable heels I finally get to take them off and say I AM AN OFFICIAL SCHULICH GRADUATE!
( Ceremony Details )
Now I get a nice, huge Shabbos dinner with most of the family to celebrate the occassion.
About the title. Adam and I have always been called the married couple at school because we've known each other for so long, so we went along with it and took it in stride. We even got the couple award at formal thanks to some rigging by my friends. I said to Adam that on the last day of school we would be officially separated and when I got my diploma divorced which means my diploma is now my official divorce documentation. I am now a free woman!!
CONGRADUATIONS to all of you who have and will be graduating soon.
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06:25 pm
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Weather Catastrophe?!
It just seems to be one of those Canadian Seasons where you have no idea what to wear. One day you're wearing a sweater while the next you're in shorts and t-shirt. Although this year it seems to be more of rain jacket versus tank top.
I don't know about the rest of you but the weather actually is somewhat pleasant when you just sit in your kitchen and watch the rain pour down. It's something that you don't usually see with such tremendous force. Don't get me wrong, I do fear for the people who are on the road when there is such tumultuous weather but it just seems to come and go. I wonder what it would feel like to lose all inhibitions and just go out and jump in the rain and sing and just go nuts (assuming there isn't any lighting around that could hurt us). Hmmm...it sounds like fun and like I was a child again, how I miss those days sometimes.
For the first time in my life, I actually heard Thornhill and surrounding areas get a tornado warning! I thought those only occurred near water (lakes, oceans, etc.) and I believe we're quite far from that. Our power kept going in and out and Michelle was hysterical everytime she heard the warning. Apparently it's her biggest fear but we got her through it by relaxing with some tea and joking around. The night passed without anymore warnings and it was relaxing falling asleep to the thunder and rain slightly pounding away.
I hope everyone else came out unscathed. I know I had to go out three times between rain bouts to rid the awning we have outside of water so that it wouldn't break. So to my dear Judy who wished for the humidity to go away and to have rain, we got it! It's actually quite pleasant outside. I hope the weather was not horrible down in Wiarton and that all goes well with the tourists.
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04:37 pm
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Mexico...WARNING this is LONG!
For those of you who may not have known I went away to Mexico with my sister Michelle for a nice relaxing vacation at the Bahai Principe Tulum, in the Mayan Riviera. I have chronicalled most of what happened in a rough order.
We arrived safely without any complications, except for the fact that (like usual) there was no kosher meal for me. However, because there were so many Indian people on my flight they had extra vegetarian meals...it was nasty though, but at least it was something. We arrived in Mexico at around 7pm and then took the "45 minute drive" as stated in the brochure (try 2 hours) to get to the hotel. It wasn't bad though. It was bitch black so we didn't see anything on the way. Most people dozed off and the representative on the bus started selling beers to whoever wanted. Free beer I would take, but $3USD for a beer is not where I wanted to spend my money, so I just relaxed. At one point he bet the people on the bus if he could chug a beer in 4 seconds, everyone said no...me I said yes. He flipped the beer around, chugged and of course it was done in about 4 seconds because half the beer turns to fuzz anyway. Only us "experienced" drinkers would know that :D He then asked us to guess his age and we would all get free beers if we did. Of course when someone says that you either go really young or really old. Most of the people on the bus were saying 25+ until 50 (This was a young guy by the way). I of course said 22 and was trying to get people to go younger, of course they didn't...Want to guess the age....he was 20! I was closest :D
We arrived to the hotel kinda late and so we went to the 24 hour joint to eat. It was pretty good, but everything there was meat so I just had nachos with "cheese" (disgusting yellow sauce). I used my spanish to find out that the fries were fried in semolina oil so I ate a lot of fries throughout the trip. Although most workers there speak Spanish, English, Italian, etc. I used mostly my Spanish to communicate. They were VERY impressed all the time, asking where I was from and astonished when I said Toronto. They thought maybe Italy or Spain or somewhere Spanish speaking. Our first night was uneventful, we just ate and then crashed into bed. The room was really nice (see pics on petridish).
We woke up the next morning kinda early (usually we were up between 6:30-8:30) and went to one of the buffets for breakfast. There were two buffets for breakfast and lunch (not including the 24 hour place that also had food) and one buffet for dinner. The rest were a la carte. So we ate a good breakfast most of the time there. Usually we did eggs (omelet, over easy, scrambled), french toast, waffles, bread (mmmm croissants...see pic...I think they look like crabs), cereal, etc. Pretty good variety and you never get sick of breakfast. This time I always remembered my lactaid pills so no running back to the room. Everyday after breakfast we would go to the pool to relax. We had the pool literally 2 minutes away. There were 5 pools in the resort, but we chose the one closest to us each time. It wasn't deep enough to swim (4.5') but it was good for mini laps and relaxing. I stayed on the lounge a lot and read my book. It was great! I got through the entire 600 or so pages over the vacation and started another. I'm gonna head out and get some more by the same author.
We went to the beach once in a while, but Michelle is scared of deep water so I would swim alone or we would wade in the waves. I went pretty far. We had our own sandbar there too! (Like the trip we went to in the Domincan) but it was underwater but shallow enough that you could stand and the water would be to my calf only. People played games there and I would jump into the waves. I took my goggles and looked at the fish in the water. We had crystal blue water in some parts. A little murky in others but that was caused by the waves. You can see how clear it was in the pictures. We even had our own snorkling area where you could see tons of fish, but that cost $$ and I didn't want to go alone, so I just went to a few other areas on our beach.
Some other things we did. I went to about 4 of the evening shows. The first one was basically lip singing. It was good because some of it was a little comedy with the singing. The second show was a fire show...quite good, the third was a black light show...THE BEST!! and the fourth one was singing again but with a lot of dancing. Each show was really different and better than the thong ridden girls in the Dominican.
Michelle and I took one day trip to Playa del Carmen, a nearby beach. We were very burnt and very itchy so we didn't actually go to the beach, but we went shopping. We got some jewlery for ourselves and then some nicknacks for the family. It was actually a bit of a stressful day because the bus was late taking us there so we had less time and by the afternoon Michelle had a huge allergic reaction (tell you about it in a few sentences) that we couldn't do much because her head swelled like a balloon and her left eye was shut completely. It looks like we were fighting and I gave her a black eye (see mock pic of me punching her in the eye). I have other pics chronicalling the swelling but I didn't post them...that would be mean. We actually went straight to the doctor when we got back...what a headache. They don't take credit cards, all the cash we had was spent on him, and it was just a horrible experience. He said it was because Michelle's braids were too tight (we got our hair braided...you can see it in the pics). [side note: When we came home I asked my mom and she said this happened to Michelle before and that it was caused by an allergic reaction to the bugs in the sand] We came back to the room and it was a mess. By 3pm it still was not cleaned and we left at 8:30am!!!! Needless to say I was really annoyed and went to the PR department to talk to them because it's their job to make things right. To make that part really quick, the lady was a bitch. We had huge miscommunications regarding the doctor and cleaning and bus and by the end Michelle and I spoke to the head of the resort because we were stunned about the behaviour of the PR lady and her unwillingness to help and her tone with me (it was not pleasant and she basically blamed me). Other than that incident the rest of the trip was really nice. Michelle and I had our normal tiffs but got over them.
The burn, oh yes, did I burn! I burned all the time even with sunscreen and staying in the shade. It was so hot I actually got an allergic reaction and broke out in heat rashes on my arms and chest. I was really about to rip my skin off and nothing helped. No aloe vera no cold water, so I would go to bed a bit early each time (about midnight) so that the pain would pass. I also lost my tank top on the beach :( I guess I forgot it at somepoint. Who knows, one shirt is not bad. Last time my dad lost his bathing suit AND camera.
Oh ya, we did some a la cartes too. The first one I went to had only one fish dish and the rest of the menu was all meat, so I ordered the fish and he said they were out!!!! How can you be out of fish?! So he made me tortillas and vegetables. Absolutely horrible seeing how I was eating vegetables for lunch and dinner every night because I don't eat meat, and the fish they were serving was nasty! We went to a second a la carte called the Gran Tortuga, that was ok. I got my fish there, but is was so bland I barely ate it. The third one was the best. Dolce Vitta, Italian. The pasta was great (minus the ham...I told them to take it out), but the desert was disappointing. However, overall it was good.
You might be wondering why we didn't do any excursions? Well besides the chichen itza one (ruines) that I wanted to do, Michelle thought it was too expensive so we didn't go, and the other cheaper ruins I didn't want to do because I came to only see the chichen itza ones...oh well. Good thing we didn't go too because Michelle's swollen face would have gotten worse in the sun. They had a lot of water excursions, but like I mentioned earlier Michelle is not into deep water so we couldn't do that. I would recommend this place for a group of us and we can do the excursions. They had a lot of activities and sports all the time (unlike Dominican) and the people were really nice.
That's all for the resort. A last note. We arrived at the airport and the plane was 3-4 hours late!!! Why?! Because it broke down in Toronto. Basically, they put all the food and luggage on the plane as well as the people and then deemed it unsafe so they had to unload everything and everyone and get them all on another plane before it took off to mexico to get us. A good note...the plane was really nice. Brand new American Trasit. (our bags were all manually searched though because it was an American plane...quite embarassing), but they had really nice staff on the plane AND my kosher meal. We got to watch a movie and they gave us free headphones. The flight was tough though. I had a hard time sleeping and my legs were cramping but I didn't want to get up to stretch, my fault. We arrived in the airport at 3:30am and were home by 4:30am instead of the listed 12:05am. When we were getting our bags checked, for some reason all the Mexicans fell for Michelle. We had 2 guards looking through our stuff but by the end there were 6 of them telling me they wanted to marry her. We were all laughing and having fun. Great way to end the trip! There are more little details, but I can tell you about them later if you want.
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04:38 pm
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Here I go Again!
Can you imagine where I am writing from? ....oh yes, lovely HR class! I can appreciate that as the semester gets closer to ending people don't feel like working but this class is just too boring to do anything!! I haven't read the chapters because they are useless and I don't plan on doing anymore readings for this class because it doesn't count. Readngs generally do not count, but they help, except in this class. The only reason I ever read the textbook was for the stupid quizzes which unfortunately we had today!
WE WERE SCREWED! He said this was the "easy" verion...ya right. Give me a break. This quiz was worse than the first one. He "wrote" the exam himself...harharhar...try he got it off of the disk that comes with his teacher's guide. I do not think he EVER read the chapter, but rather just used the notes that was provided to him by the company and that's why he ALWAYS reads from the screen and computer module where you can find all the notes.
Adam is here too, so as I type (and actually get some group work done) he is drawing his usual pictures. If I had a scanner here, I would scan them in so you can see how his drawing has improved in the last year, lol :) I'm just glad this class is almost over (2 more weeks and I'll be done school).
There are some good times coming up right after I finish my classes. Despite the fact that I do not have a job yet, I am trying to be positive that at least I am done and leaving this school. I'll miss the friends but not the school. This has been my best year in terms of marks and just having fun. Today (thank you Debbie) I got a project back that I got an A+ on!! I was SOOOO happy. My work is actually improving as the semester comes to an end.
What's on tap at school: 3 group projects, 1 reading reflection
Fun to have? Grad Lunch, Coffee House, Super Pub (all on March 31..day after I'm done); Formal (May 3) now that's sad because some of my friends are leaving, so who should I go with? Perhaps we'll get a group to go because I want a chance to dress up.
Cheers and have a great day! :D
Current Mood:  giddy
Current Music: The Drone of Stephen
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01:31 pm
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My Rant!
Wow! Who knew I would write two days in a row? It might be because the closer I get to graduation, the more I realize why I didn't like this school to begin with. It has its good points, mainly the few people I met and will try to keep in contact with when school is over, but more and more I realize that it is lacking.
Many of you have probably realized that your respective school's are either more than you expected or less (in whatever capacity you want to take that) but I thought coming in here that I would have an awesome time and end up with a job by the end. Boy was I wrong!! I've been having a better time the last couple years when I met a group that I like to hang with and work with, but there are just so many headaches and they don't end.
For those who know me, you probably realize that when something is nearing the end, I like to end it properly...ie. with Harvey, I made sure she had all the files and everything was in order. Well, I'm trying to do the same thing here.
I finally got irritated enough that I cleaned the office we share with three other clubs. It was such a mess that you could not use the desks and you were tripping over things. It's finally all clean and will be ready for next year, but that's not what got me angry. We have a "club" storage room, but to get in you need a key. I asked the undergraduate president for it and he told me to see the graduate president for it, who then refused to let me have it. He said to get the undergraduate president to get it because the graduates had "valuable" stuff in there. I went back to the undergraduate president and he blew me off! What the hell! I try to do something nice, and I get flack for it. What's the point??
In the same token, our club had a meeting yesterday and our client was there to hear us present to him our findings (we do research and make a proposal to small/medium sized businesses). At 20 to 7 a professor comes in and tell us we have to get out. We had the room booked to 7 and stated so but he didn't care. He went about doing what he needed, while we had to leave in the middle of the presentation. How unprofessional is that? Not only do we look like fools, we have to reschedule and waste more of our personal time! This has happened more than once, so I went to the people in charge of the rooms to let them know. The lady was very gracious and told me what to do...basically write a letter to the dean, which I will do. I told my friend I am taking this on, and he basically asked why? (I'm only in school for three weeks more). Am I wrong in trying to fix things for others??
I never understood why people find it strange that I do things for others, even if it doesn't benefit me? Am I flawed somehow? Should I just ignore these problems because I'm leaving? Should I just stop caring? Advice please...I just find if I set people up, then things go easier. Why not??
Have a better day than I am.
Current Mood:  and confused
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04:58 pm
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What a class!
I think this is the first time in years where I am so bored, I need to write about it. I am sitting in my three hour HR class and I've never been so bored!!
This prof reads and uses examples straight from the text. If I didn't do the readings, I could see where this would help, but I've hone the readings in preparation for the quiz next week! Last time he royally screwed us, so this time I'm gonna study the itty-bitty details so I can do more than just pass it.
I really don't understand how he is still teaching. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but even the exchange students find this course horribly boring. Just in case he comes around as he walks, I am typing out his slides to make it look like I am doing work. I am also practicing typing while lookng at him, not so bad, but I need practice. I have no idea why I took this course.
The worst part today is that I am trying to participate but he is ignoring me today, so I have just given up. He only chooses me when there is no one else, but it's really pissing me off. At least I got some of my other work done. I'd figure by now he would realize how boring he was, but I guess not. We were actually supposed to do an excercise today, so something "exciting" for once rather than reading off slides, but nope. Class ends in 10 minutes and he has not stopped talking! He is going to get a horrible review at the end of the term, assuming that they actually read them. He even stated that he'll entertain our opinions but won't put them to action, so what is the point in talking to him?! Am I wrong.
To give you an idea of what Adam and I are sitting through...the slides are up (taken from the text), the words from his mouth come WORD-for-WORD from the textbook, and he stands behind a table where the monitor is and looks down 50% to read the notes that the publisher put down for him to state. SO BORING! The same information OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! ARGH!
Anyways, I guess I should end this, but a last rant...last time, as I mentioned above, the prof screwed us when we took the quiz last week, he said he "wrote" it...ya right! He took it from the disk they give him with questions from the text! SUCH A LIAR! I don't mind them using it, but don't lie to us.
Have a good week, hope your classes are better than mine was.
Current Mood: ARGH!
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04:18 pm
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Been a Long Time Coming
It's been about 4 months since my last entry, and I finally found the time to write one right after finishing my most recent exam. Not to fret...although I only write once in a while...I do try to read the journals in lump sums (two weeks at a time).
I just wanted to briefly wish everyone good luck on their exams as I know we are slowly coming to a great sigh of relief rather than the usual feeling of doom! We are all studying hard as can be seen with the many DND and AWAY messages placed over the MSN symbol with horrifying words of the numerous exams and papers still to write. Not to worry! We are almost done! Just imagine, for the majority of us this is our last year of school, or at the very least our undergraduate. Some of us are trying to find jobs while others are pondering entering an even higher level of education.
I will most likely write something more into what's been happening with me later in the week, to catch those of you up who I have not spoken to in a while. In conclusion....
GOOD LUCK! and RELAX! Two more weeks and we can BREATHE AGAIN.
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11:44 pm
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I was here but now I'm gone
Well it's been a little over a week since I got back from Israel and it's been stressful but overall not too bad. I had to get reorganized and handle all the little details that I missed in the last 6 weeks like work!!! Ah, what a headache it was on my first day back! and now I still have to deal with it because people are not calling me back! Oh well...I'll deal with it when I return. I won't bore you with all the little details of my week, but I did get lots of sleep but barely saw anyone which was quite a disappointment. I'm sorry I couldn't make Josh's thing, I had meetings until 10:30pm and by then I was exhausted.
Overall I have recovered from Israel and am ready for my second excursion which will take place tomorrow to New York. I'm going with my older sister on a road trip that will take us to Midtown Manhatten and back. When I return I'll hopefully write a nice long e-mailing detailing my trip. I need someone to teach me to put photos on Petridish. I have about 200 Israel pictures waiting to be uploaded! HELP!
Will miss you. I will have my phone so you can text me.
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06:39 pm
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Installment #6 (the end of my travels, at least in Israel)
Hi all,
Well it's 6pm here in Israel and I just experienced my first earthquake while in the shower. It wasn't anything big, something like a 4.5-5.0 on the ricter scale, but I barely felt it. Just things shaking in the shower. At least I can now say, I've been through my first earthquake and lived to tell about it. Actually this trip has been awesome! I am so sad to be leaving but also urging to come home and see everyone. I guess I'll continue with my on-going saga of the last week here in this beautiful country.
After my 6-hour time in the Kotel I then proceeded to make plans for the following day. I ended up spending my last Shabbat in the Old CIty and loved every minute of it. We (my friend Natalie and I) stayed in the hostel and it was actually quite cosy and clean. During the afternoon we went shopping and I got some really nice skirts and tops. We lunched and ate at others' houses and I realized I perfer houses that have continous talking during Shabbat. We went to dinner at a family's house and he kept asking us about the weekly bible portion and about our "shidduchim" (dating set-ups). I had no clue with either of those things so i felt really uncomfortable. Some of the places we ate at were also real quiet and that I don't like to much either, but the whole overall atmosphere was amazing. On Saturday night, I went to the Kotel to pray and just sit and I totally broke down. I thought I would be ok, but as we left I took one last look and totally bawled. I literally felt like something was being torn from me and that I was gonna fall on the floor. It took all my strength to not fall down, but I made it out.
I thought i would leave to Tel-aviv the next day, but instead attended classes at the seminary and enjoyed it. They were really intense so I just stayed for 2, and then went to Ben Yehuda street with another friend (Regina). I also ate my first fast food there (Burger King!!! Kosher!!!). We then went to Yad Vashem and took our time remembering the holocaust. For the first time in my life I actually found people who were in the war with my last name and will have my dad search more when he visits Israel in September/October. For those if you who want to search, the names that Yad Vashem has will be online in the new year. After that we went shopping at the mall and I bought some more skirts and tops, looks like I will be wearing them more often. I got used to them here. Oh ya, I also had Pizza Hut!! The next day I attended more classes and then came here to Tel-Aviv.
The trek itself is a pain in the ass because of the suitcases and carrying them up 4 flights (about 50 stairs) us no fun either, but now they are all packed and ready to go to the airport. While with my cousins here near tel-aviv she took me out on a day trip to Haifa and Hertziliya and places like that. It was quite a good day. I also managed to have McDonald's. I know I am crazy for naming the foods, but the key is that I only eat them once every 4 years when I come to Israel so for me, they are a treat. Today I went to the mall and just relaxed with my friend Shiri. We chatted for a while and then I came back to my cousins. So here I am now, ready to leave. I think I want fast food before I leave, but we'll see. I feel like have Burger Ranch, but so much fast food in such little time isn't that good, but oh does it taste good.
I guess this is the conclusion. I hope you all enjoyed these e-mails because as I continue to travel this summer (yes I am going to other places but nearer to home) I will try to send e-mails as I get home. Miss you all.
Shoshy
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04:52 pm
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Installment #5
Hey,
I guess I should begin by saying how torn I am about staying and going. Many people are asking me whether I want to come home and last week I would have said yes, but more and more I find there are things I will miss about being in Israel, especially Jerusalem. Well I guess I will start with where I left off...the end of seminary thus begins my family vacation.
After a gruelling 3 hours on the bus I finally made it to my aunt's house in Dimona. Dimona is a small city almost central between Eilat and Tel-Aviv/Jerusalem. All the buses stop there on their way to and from those places. Although the buses come through, there is almost nothing to do there. I decided to spend Shabbat there because it would be easier on me religion wise and is half-way to Eilat which was my next stop. It was nice to be around family but OY! is my aunt ever like my aunt. The minute I walk throught he door she offers me food and talks my ear off for at least 2 hours. This proceeds for the entire 3 days I am there. All I wanted to do was just crash and watch some TV and walk around but she would not have it. She did allow me to watch TV but would come in every 30 minutes to check on me and talk to me some more and to offer me more food. She would say (of course all of this is in Spanish): "Don't be shy, this is like you're house, don't be shy". I must have heard that same thing over and over again about a thousand times. I wanted to pull my hair out it was getting too annoying. But she's my aunt and I love her all the same. One thing that was just too funny but irritating, my aunt walked in to my room at 8am, woke me up, and asked me if I wanted to continue sleeping...go figure?!
I got to see 4/9 of my cousins there. My cousin Eli came for Saturday lunch and talked for 2 hours to me, Saadia was really nice and we had good 2-way conversations (yes all in Spanish!!) and I got to see his son. I regret that I don't have a picture because it was Friday and he forgot to bring it to me. I also saw my cousins Simcha and Esther, they came Friday night to talk to my aunt, and we went to Simcha's on Saturday as well to talk for a bit. Like I presumed none of the cousins took me out. Oh well...I just vegged which was good as well.
Sunday I voyaged onto Eilat. It was a hassle trying to tell my aunt that I wanted to leave at 2:30pm because she said it was hot! Damn it!!! I would be in an air-conditioned bus for 3 hours, it's not that hot and when I got there, there would still be some light. So after some argument she agreed and I took off for the bus. 3 long hours later, I was there...speaking of the ride there, the first 20 minutes required me to sit on the floor as all the seats were taken by soldiers who don't have to pay. Thank goodness some got off on the way so I could sit in a seat and have some air-conditioning. I arrived and my cousin Avi picked me up in a taxi and we went shopping for food for the week.
That evening we walked the Tayellet (board walk) and it was jam packed with people. The next morning I went to beach and swam for a bit. I learned it's not so much fun to go alone so I left after about 3 hours (although I am still pasty white despite all the sun) and took a nice warm shower, something I rarely get. I then headed to my other cousin's, Rooty, store. Can you believe they sell beer for $1.25 and anyone can buy one!!!! She had an unbelievable amount and offered it to me whenever I wanted. I didn't drink any though, I had a mental block from my drinking incident after exams. Too make things short because not much happened, I visited the boardwalk alone the next day, spent the afternoons with my cousin Rooty talking and always going over to her place for either lunch or dinner. I also visited the mall which was quite disappointing. One of the highlights was that my cousin took me to the dolphin reef and I swam only meters away from them. There was a protective net but it was amazing to see 10 of them dive and such. Next time I must remember to bring snorkling things otherwise you miss so much. I also got to see my cousin Avi's twin Shimon and his kids. It was nice but noone took me out except Rooty. A bit disappointing, but I got some much time to myself where I got to think and actually be independent. Independence can be a wonderful thing.
There are so many little details I'm not writing but I only have 7 more minutes and I want to get down most of the details so for the little points, we'll have coffee and talk. So anyways, I took another bus from Eilat to Dimona and it took it's usual 3 hours but on the way there I felt sad to leave. I saw how amazing Israel is and I regret leaving but at the same time miss everyone. In Dimona I slept and left to Jerusalem where I am now. Sending this E-mail/Journal. I am back in a week July 8 at 5am and may send a good-bye e-mail.
Gotta jet.
Bye. Hugs to all.
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04:50 pm
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Installmenst #4 (a late posting)
Hi all,
Well it's Week 4 here and my seminary portion is over. The seminary aspect was really good. I don't remember where I left off and where hotmail keeps my sent mail, but oh well. I remember writing about some of the courses I was taking. We went to a good program called Discovery that proves to us that the Torah was written by a supernatural being and that it could not have been written by one man or many men. I know many of you may be thinking, "Oh no! She's been brainwashed!" but they used all empirical evidence. It's actually quite fascinating. I bought the book so that I would remember the details and could show it to others. I think some of you may be interested in seeing it too. I found out they have the seminar in T.O., I just have to find out where and when.
I went out a couple times this week at night. Nothing too fascinating. I do recall one evening when we went to the Canyon Malka (a mall) in Jerusalem and when we got there, there were police and the army. The police told us to go to the front of the mall. All of a sudden the police were telling everyone to go in the mall. Generally when you go in the mall they check your bags, but they just let everyone in. Apparently they found a suspicious package, that means it can be anything...even someone forgetting a bag. So everyone went in and then they wouldn't let anyone out. We decided it wasn't that exciting so we just continued on our way to dinner. We went to a chinese restaurant and I had duck for the first time. It tasted good, but I prefer crispy beef from Golden Chopsticks.
I really don't know what to say anymore. I must admit that I really miss home and my friends. It's great to be away but it would be better to have one of you with me. I get bored at times because people have cliques and like to do their own thing. I was supposed to go to my cousins tonight, but was convinced not to, when I was told we would go out tonight and that the distance is shorter from Jerusalem to Beer Sheva, when in fact it is the same. Sigh...I wish I was there. We did not end up going out and things just don't seem to be going my way. I just feel lonely and out of it. I hope to have a better time in the coming weeks.
Tomorrow I start travelling to Dimona to see my aunt (Fri-Sun) and from there Eilat to see my cousin (Sun-Wed). I believe I will stop off on the way from Eilat to Dimona (Wed) again for a good nights rest and then back to Jerusalem. I hope to go to Yad Vashem on the Thursday and then spend Shabbat in Jerusalem with some friends. I really hope they do not mind me keeping my stuff there. I then want to go to my cousins' for the remainder of my trip (Sun-Wed night). Things seem to be going fast, but sometimes I just feel it is a hassle. I wish I had one big bag and just went where I wanted, when I wanted. I just don't know anymore.
One place I did go alone was to Tel-Aviv. I began with a visit to the cementary where I found some idiot buffoons had stolen a chair that was in front of my grandfathers grave. I then went to Bet Hakfoozot, which is a museum about the Disapora. That was pretty good and I spent my time there. Finally I went to the mall, but was uninterested in what I saw. So I took the sherut (group taxi) back to Jerusalem and spent a quiet afternoon. I've seen the sights and enjoy them and I feel more connected in religion and want to continue studying, but we'll see how it goes. I made some friends but none that are too long term. You are all still the best.
Miss you all. Will possibly write in a week or two.
Shoshy
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04:38 pm
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Trip Installment #3
Hey all,
Today is installment #3 of my trip and to start off I will say that I am completely stair illiterate here! I think it's because my shoes are not bad for such smooth steps but this time I feel going up the stairs. Not as bad as going down, just a scratched knee. I really have to start to walk slower!
So to begin where I left off after Shabbat, our group woke up bright and early and continued to pack for our journey 20 minutes away to Ramat Eshkol where we would start seminary. Of course we were able to go away for Shabbat so more than half the people were missing and we were frantically trying to pack all their things so it would not be left behind. The boys are lucky that they get to stay in the old city and have Shabbat there. What a thrill it is at night to be at the kotel and be able to walk there whenever you want to. Anyways, the boys who were present helped us lug around suitcases down the stairs and to the buses. What a shlep. Honestly, my new moto when travelling to Israel is to pack light and wash often. It is not worth the struggle with the suitcases. So we said our fairwells and went to the seminary.
What a shock we had when we got there, half our group was staying in an apartment and the other half (me included) stayed in a house where we would also hold the lectures. The houses are small (about half the size of mine) and there are about 4-6 girls per room. Picture that many people in half the size of my bedroom! It is cramped, hot, and stuffy. There is no air in the rooms at all and we try our best to cope! I swear I was having a nervous breakdown when I got here, but it's not so bad. We get used to the rooms, and now I just grab a book and go to the couches downstairs or to the basement where there are tables for lectures. I find myself pulling away from the group and reading a lot. I don't think it's because I am so anti-social, but rather I have so many questions, many of which I cannot even formulate yet, and need them answer. I find that I can learn more from reading and can get more questions to ask the Rabbi when we see him or the Rebbetzins (female rabbis...no not the type in reform shuls, we called very learned women rebbetzins).
Anyways. to give you an idea of what i'm learing, here are some of the topics: Prayer, Kashrut, Women Stuff (ie. how we are NOT inferior to men, but rahter superior), Taste of Text (the bible and stuff), and other nicknack stuff. I love to play the disruptive one in class and just ask questions as they come up otherwise I won't remember it. The rabbis don't seem to mind, but some other the other teachers do. They say to hold questions so they can do the lesson, but who the heck cares about the lesson if we have other questions. The point is to educate no matter how you do it. We had a teacher on Thursday called Rabbi Geller. He's this small man who is BONKERS! He wanted us to ask him a question while we were waiting for class to start, so to be the devil I asked him to prove to me that the Jewish religion is not a cult. He answered my question (for those who want the answer let me know) and then he started the class. He was SO funny. He was going so fast and was so excited I actually told him to calm down and go slower. Noone could beleive I did this but he relaxed and then got all excited again. I smile when I think of his class because it was so exciting at 10am!
I think I forgot to mention that we have class Sun-Thurs from 9:30-6 and sometimes later. They also have activities at night, sometimes free time during the day, and excursions. They did have an excursion not long ago but I skipped it (I hate caving) and went to the biblical zoo. You can;t imagine such nice animals in the middle of the mountains. It was so nice and relaxing to go. The next evening we went to a Jewish wedding. I've been to those before, but it was so much fun and Wednesday evening we did Challah baking. There is so much more to it than I knew. It was really good, but I was so tired I crashed right after that.
I already sent out the Tel-Aviv e-mail so I won't get into that. I'll continue with Shabbat. It was a nice peaceful one, but yet I again I got so sleepy and was in pain from the sunburn I got, that I went to sleep and slept for a good 9 hours. I then went to lunch at someone's house and they were so pleasant. They talked with me and I asked them questions. It was so open and peaceful. When I see the wife again I am going to get their address and keep in touch. Most of the people here do that. They want me for lunch again when I return. I might come back in December. Perhaps I can drag my sister too.
Well...I don't have much else to write. As I mentioned above the group part of this trip is over and I am going to do what I want now! I will be staying in seminary until Thursday and will then go to Dimona for Shabbat to see my aunt and uncle, Sunday I leave for Eilat until about Wednesday, and then will travel back up to my cousins' place. Hopefully, I will do some sight seeing on my own. I want to go to Yad Vashem, see the kotel again, go to some museums, etc. Any suggestions??
One last thing I just remembered...i went out tonight, and the tender (group taxi) had a touch screen, dvd player, sub woofers, new stereo, palm pilot, and 2 cell phones. It was the funkiest car I have seen so far.
I guess I've bored you enough. Enjoy. Miss you. 3 more weeks and counting!
Shoshy
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04:37 pm
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Tel-Aviv
Hi Everyone,
I thought i would do a quick e-mail about my recent excursion to Tel-Aviv. A few of us were tired of studying so we went to Tel-Aviv for an overnight stay. We got there about 7pm and proceeded to check into the hotel...we then went for a delicious dinner near the beach and then coffee on the beach. It was so nice!! I realized that turkish coffee makes me sleepy instead of awake, go figure. We chatted and relaxed while i schluffed in the chair just berathing in the air. At about 1am i decided to head in and for once enjoyed a nice sleep in a comfortable bed!! What pleasure to not sleep on a rock!
My other colleagues came in at about 4am and then we had an early wake-up call where we all took showers...what pleasure! Warm showers with pressure instead of ice chills. We went to the beach for breakfast which was delicious and then tanned on the beach. I put on sunscreen but got sooooo burnt! I look like a lobster but maybe it is worth it. I have patches of white skin everwhere! You can't imagine my horrible tan but it's so funny. We went tot the shuk and some of the vendors refused to bargain, go figure! I was gonna get something for my sis but it was too much. So we left and came back. (Damn computer won't work). [New Paragraph] I took a shower to get ready for shabbat and again it was a COLD shower. I do stress cold but it felt ok on my burning skin.
Shabbat went well and I read another book. I LOVE reading here. I want to write more, but we are going out to say good-bye to the group aspect of this trip. Love you and miss you and will write a longer e-mail later tonight.
Shoshy
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03:03 pm
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Part 2 of my trip
It's been a while since my last installment because I can never get to a computer and I have to write this one fast as well because other people are waiting for it. A brief intro...I am no longer in the old city but in Ramat Eshkol, not far from Jerusalem. The place is cramped and there is no air in the room so I thought I would come and write and e-mail/journal. You would think that people would be online Sunday at 5pm, but I guess I am wrong.
To continue from where I left off, we had a wonderful Shabbat in the old city. It is one of the most memorable things I will remember from start to finish. We had our usual lectures which were okay, but then we had a rabbi come and sing and he taught us songs. He's known as the surfing Rabbi because he was a Californian surfer before he and his brothers became religious. It was such a wonderful evening. He didn't assume everyone knew songs and he taught us tunes in rounds. You had to be there to feel the Shabbat. After the singing we went to the Kotel, and what a sight!! It was absolutely packed with people. There were 20+ birthright tours and even more groups that all came to spend shabbat at the wall. Some of us even went to pray as did I and for some reason while praying I just started to cry. It was so hard to read the words that several times I had to stop and compose myself just to be hit with another wave of fear, sadness, and joy. After that experience we all went for dinner and sang some more while eating. At one point we sang so loud (as there was another group next door) that we started having competitions. We bashed on doors and ran around them. It was quite humourous. We then all collectively went to someone's house (really rich family) to scmooze a.k.a hang out and chill. It was such a sight and their house was HUGE!!! You would never imagine a house like that in the old city. After about 2 hours of that we threw someone a surprise party and finally went to sleep at about 4am.
We proceeded to wake up late the next morning and had to rush to get ready for family host lunches. We all went to different houses but I was still with some of my friends which worked out well. Lunch was a little okay, but we asked tons of questions because the host asked us to if we didn't understand things so I did. We stayed there longer than any other of the hosts and didn't get free time. I was trying to stay awake but found it hard. We had more lectures and then we had another get together with the other group a.k.a. Bostonians. We all got to sit together and Shmooze. After Shabbat we went to Egon a Nargillah pub and I smoked a Hooka for the first time. It was ok, but nothing extravagant.
The next day we went up North a bit and went go karting in an indoor mall!! It was amazing! I kicked ass. We also decided to stay in the area and go to Tel Aviv. We walked to the beach and just stayed there for hours. We would have stayed all night but we had lectures again in the morning, so we decided to head home and got there about 1am and then finally went to sleep at 3am. After all that little sleep we went travelling again and it was nothing special. What did get to me was that we met with the father of a boy who was murdered by terrorists and saw a video about a soldier who was killed trying to save someone. It really got us crying, but to liven the mood we went for a hike in the West bank...yes the west bank (I was freaking) and had some pizza. We continued with survivor talks the next day with a girl who survived a suicide bombing and talking with a doctor at a hospital. Not so much crying but it did get you to think.
The trip down south was quite a bore. We did all the normal things, Ein Gedi and Masada. But for once we did the Bedouin hospitality that was quite nice. We just laid back and relaxed. So many stars and such a great thing. While there we got to ride camels and like my pathetic horse I got a possessed camel. It literally was hoping on every other step and finally decided it had enough of me and my partner, sat down and woulnd't move until we got off her. Better for us because I was getting really sick! We went to bed around 1am that evening and had to be up by 4am. We all ended up getting up and were ready at the bus to go to Masada and the bus driver was MIA. It seemed he slept in because he was drinking (at least we think so), so we missed the sunrise. What a shame, like I didn't see it before. That was one of the worst days because we were so bored. We were going from place to place that we did not have time to relax anywhere and just ran and ran and ran.
I did forget to mention that I did fall down then the stairs on Tuesdays. It was not a good thing going down head first. Somehow I still managed to do all those hikes and my foot still hurts. I am making due but I think I may have tweaked something on the upper part of my foot. We did aerobics tonight and I aggravated it somemore so now it's just numb. I really hope I didn't break anything, but it doesn't seem like anyone cares at the moment. Just when it happened and even then, they cared for only a little while.
Anyways back to the past. I spent Shabbat with my cousins and it was interested. Don't take interesting as bad, it was quite enjoyable and relaxing but I did things on Shabbat I don't usually do. It got me to think about whether I should still respect it or why I still respect it. I don't know. I will figure it out. I am presently writing this at midnight in seminary and I'm not sure if i like it. I will try it somemore and decide in the next few days whether I want to stay for two weeks. For now I am just sick of travelling and want some time to relax.
Anyways...people are waiting and I promised them I would get off. Miss you all!! But still getting through it all.
Big Hugs and Kisses!!!!
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10:23 pm
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Week 1 of my Journey
Hi all,
Well I arrived in Israel safe and sound from a loooooooooong flight of about 12 hours. They had movies on the plane but I was too tired and there was only one big screen. The food was, um, ok but the people on my trip are really good. The first thing we did is that we went to the Kotel (wailing wall) and some of us prayed while others just stood looking at it. What a magnificent creation. For the first time in my life I cried there and actually felt fear and in awe. When you go up close you can actually see some foliage coming out of the rocks. It's a limestone wall and there are BEAUTIFUL purple flowers growing from it.
We had some lectures that were pretty interesting and we've already done some travelling up North. We visitied Tiberias and Haifa. We went on some small hikes where there were beautiful waterfalls (I have pics for you later). I have to remember to bring my book with me when I type this because for the life of me, I can't remember. I do recall that we had a nice group session where we discussed why we were on the trip and then schmoozed (hung out). We talked until about 2am while other people were drinking up a storm. I didn't feel like drinking so I just schmoozed.
I do recall today's excursions so I can discuss those. We went and saw a bunker in the North where we captured the lands from the Syrians, not a bad place but I've been there before. We then went on that hike that I mentioned above and that was spectacular. After that we went to Tzfat where I bought my grandma some nice candles and splurged on a Havadallah set for those who know. I went against my moms wishes on getting it, but heck I wanted it and for 4 pieces it was only $30 US. I now have my own set and I can share it with my grams. We also went to a certain show factory, but although the shoes are good I can't see myself paying $100 for a pair of Sandals. Lastly we came back to Jerusalem, where we are staying.
If you ever come to Jerusalem at night, make sure that you bring pants and sweaters. It is so cold almost as much as Canada! That reminds me of what I did yesterday, a 2.5 hour horseback ride up North. I was so scared but it was awesome! My horse's name was Shanti and it is the laziest nag you have ever seen. I have a picture of her, but I can'tsend it (forgot the plug for the digital camera).
The group is really nice and everyone gets along. Another thing I remembered (I'm a scatterbrain today) we went to a wedding a few days ago. It was so much fun. It was so picturesque. We didn't stay for the dinner but we went to eat out, we ended up in a Thai place and it was so yummy. Some of us just sat and talked for hours. We were supposed to go to the dancing but by 11pm it still had not started and we had a 5am wakeup call so we just went home about midnight not falling asleep until 2am. Needless to say we all sleep on the bus constantly. Unfortunately, everyone is also getting sick so we're all dealing with it. A lot of them are extremely sympathtic and we are all open so that people don't feel bad when they feel sick. Always happens when you're in another country. I seem to always need gravol on the long bus rides, I don't think i brought enough though.
I guess this is getting pretty long. Tomorrow we have more lectures and get to go the the Kotel again for an awesome Shabbat. I hope all is well at home. E-mail me and I can check them from a computer. My aim is to check it at least once a week or call me at 011-972-52-456-4588. It doesn't cost me anything to receive. Just keep in mind the timedifference. I am 7 hours ahead of you.Which means if it's midnight here it is 5pm in Canada. We're usually up until about 1am-2am in the morning so you can call, or you can even leave a voicemail. If I don't pick up I might be doing something, but my phone is almost always on.
Miss you all.
Shoshy
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07:01 pm
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Going, going, GONE!
Hi all,
I guess this is farewell for 6 weeks. Some of you may be wondering where, and that just means the grapevine doesn't work too well anymore, but I'm off to Israel. What an adventure it will be. 2 weeks travelling and 1 week seminary with Aish Hatorah, and 3 weeks travelling alone. I will try to get to a computer about once a week to make sure my account doesn't overflow, but most of all to hear from all of you how your life is going. I may be on vacation but I'll still be dying to know how everyone is and how they are coping without me .
I'm all packed and ready to head off. I am scared and frightened but at the same time excited to try something new. If anyone has suggestions of where they think I should visit e-mail them to me and I will try to go. I have some ideas but nothing for sure so I don't want to bore you with those details. I will bore you in the coming weeks with hopefully installments of my travels.
I will not have my usual cell phone with me, but I will have one in Israel. I will get it when I arrive and will e-mail out my phone # as well as post it on msn (if I can) for whoever wants to chat. It costs me nothing to receive calls but it will cost you normal long distance charges. Also remember that if you call at 6pm Canadian time, it will be 1 am in Israel, and I don't know if I will be up. I dont know if I have voicemail either so best to e-mail me if I missed your call just to let me know you cared . I should mention that the best address to e-mail me at is this one, but it may overflow so if you are scared of the message bouncing back, please feel free to e-mail me at shoshy04@yorku.ca The address is the same as hotmail except it goes to my university account. Either way I will check all my addresses to those of you who know my other alternates.
Anyways, I'll stop my yammering and finish up my last minute items (ie. still need to pick my courses , boy I will get a horrid schedule come september.) Thank you to all who helped me prepare and who will be doing things while I am away. I may not say it much but I appreciate it all. Feel free to send this e-mail to those friends who may not be on the list (hehe, I hid the addresses for privacy sake) or those you think might enjoy my rambling.
Take care. Will miss you all.
Shoshy
Current Mood:  hopeful
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09:17 am
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Damn Library
~Morning to anyone who checks the time of this journal. I know it's not that early but considering I was up at 6:30am for an exam that starts at 12pm it's bloody hell early!!
I can hear some of you asking what the hell I'm doing up and at school for that matter. Well, I'll tell you so I can procrastinate some more. I took a film class this semester and decided to ignore some of the movies that we were watching, but of course they will be on the exam, so I decided to come in early and watch them while continuously studying for my exam. But when I get here they're CLOSED! No biggie I can wait until 9am when they do open. I finally get in and the movie I want to see is out, so I ask for another movie I was planning to see and that's out too! DAMN IT! I came to school early for nothing. I know I should be studying but it's all too confusing and I already reviewed for an hour. I want to watch these damn movies so I know at least enough to BS the exam in less than a week. Who knew you could borrow movies from the library?! It says you can take it out for 4 hours and that's all...nothing about overnights.
Okay...I've rambled enough. Gonna recheck if the movies come in and study at the same time in a little corner of the library. The moral of this episode...Check online to see if they have the movie in before you trek to school so early! I will remember that tomorrow when I come to see the movies...if they are in!
Good luck on exams. I am ready to fail!
Shoshy
Current Mood: irritated
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01:27 pm
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Thornhill Revisited...the author speaks out
I don't know how many of you have gotten this so far, but it looks as if most people have recently been discussing the Thornhill e-mail so I thought I would send you the response from the author who has revealed himself. I am not 100% sure who it is but from the addresses it appears to be Eyal G. I am sorry if I am incorrect, but that is the first address to have started this letter from the author at least from the message forwarded to me.
I figured I'd let you guys in on this because if the Sun had done their bloody research they would realize this "hate" e-mail is THREE YEARS OLD!!!! Now take that to them and see if they can find a link betweent he author and the recent crimes.
****I figure since everyone is going to figure out who it is
eventually, I would rather quell everything down like this. So in the same fashion in which the great "Thornhill rant" was discovered and distributed I offer this explanation as remedy to it by placing it up here and where it was originally found the thill community.****
It's probably for the worst, but it's come to my attention, and I might as well claim authorship to the email. However what I will not take responsibility for is that I had NOTHING TO DO WITH TURNING THIS POST INTO A MASS EMAIL! NOTHING!!!!
For anyone who usually reads my journal stories, you will know that when dealing with strange people on the street in my drunken ways I am apt to using pseudo names or simply things like "Guy1" "Guy2". However, this was a moment waaaay before I evolved into the *insert any adjective you wish after the term 'self absorbed'* that stands in front of you today.
You're all dying to know the whole story to all this, I'm just sure of it (insert sarcasm). So I guess I'll tell you:
I wrote this thing as an LJ entry waaaay back in the day. How far back in the day? Try more than three years ago back in the day. I was not in, how can I put this delicately...in the right frame of mind. Old wounds that resulted in me packing up and moving out of Thornhill were still fresh and I was still angry, depressed, confused, etc. Bottom line, I was not a happy person. I did everything I could to erase my mind of Thornhill. I would rag on my friends for living there, I would not go back to see my family on holidays simply on the principle that I had to spend a weekend in a place that I had not enjoyed living in since the day I moved in to the suburb in 1994. I never even said I'm going "home" for Christmas break. I called it 'My parent's place'.
I was beyond euphoric that I had left, and with first year
looming to a close, I dreaded the thought of ever having to come back there for another summer, so I got wasted, and I got angry. And in one giant alcohol infused rhythm started typing out everything I hated about Thornhill. I posted it in two online journals; mine and Judy's T-hill community. A few days later I went back and read over it. The emotion was gone, and it made no sense to me to have that on there. It was futile anyways to fight the fact that I was going back and I saw that only bad could come of it if I left it up, not only in regards to the circumstances that if the names mentioned ever saw it, but simply keeping it on my journal which I tried so desperately to disconnect myself from Thornhill through, I deleted it. Of course unbeknownst to me,
there sat the other copy of it on the T-hill community for three long years. Memory loss is one of the factors attributed to living in on campus (read: I was a staggering drunk during first year. I have video to prove this).
So four days ago (March 10, 2004), I get out of the shower and get an MSN message from Dominic telling me he knows it's me who wrote the email. I'm like, what email? So I follow the links and lo and behold, I'm staring at the exact same rage filled rant I wrote three years ago, that has now been transformed and turned into a mass email. I will not provide the link as to where I found it because the less people who have access to it, the better.
I have no idea who found, copied, pasted and sent it. But it's been sent, and now here I am watching my past come back and bite me in the ass one more time, as some kind of vendetta for not appreciating it as like I should have been grateful for my surrounding environment. It's totally not my style to do such a thing. Ask the people who know me. I'm offensive, rude, belligerent, and in fact I don't think there are very many people who can hold a candle next to my crude and sacrilegious behaviour, but to actually send something like this…dude I’m 22, not some whacked out 14 year old girl, angry that she just got cheated on right after giving it up.
It's not that I have a problem with the fact that the rant was said, talking about what Thornhill encapsulated to me. My biggest and only concern at this moment is the facts that in this rant are included the names of people who more than four or five years after the fact, don't deserve to be named as the outstanding names. Like everyone else who eventually grows up, you realize much of the shit that went on in high school and during your teen years was petty. You realize that because you don't know enough of the world to realize that problems stem a lot bigger than the four corners of your suburb. And because of that people change. Or at least they deserve a chance to change.
Up until three days ago, I never even thought of the names
mentioned. In fact, I don't even think I'd recognize them if I saw them walking down the street anymore, I've been gone for that long. In regards to the comments that were written about them in anger, I need to apologize simply in the faith that people have a capacity to change. I understand that I'm dealing with a single mindset in Thornhill. This will get blown out of proportion more than it already has, people will discuss it, forward it and names will be repeated. Eventually I'm assuming that this thing will most likely turn into some sort of template for other people to unleash their aggressions on their hometown. [Or at its most retarded level – and you’ll have to agree with me on this one –
turn into some urban legend of sort where the caption above the rant itself reads that the mysterious author of this rant went nuts and killed everyone.] I just hope that if it ever got to that point that names would be changed or erased altogether. So let me state the following so you can keep up:
- I have not seen any of these individuals in the last 4+ years - In regards to the individuals, I never meant for any of this rant to exist for longer than the few days I was so sure it did. I honest to God believed that I deleted it. And I have no idea who turned it into a mass email and sent it. As far as I'm concerned they had no right to do so in the first place, not only because of the contents, but because, as authorship of it, I would never have allowed for that entry to go around like that and would have deleted it immediately if I had known it was still out there.
None of the individuals mentioned deserved to have whatever
reputation they have garnered over the last few years tainted in an immature fashion like this. It's up to people who meet them in person to decide what they're like, not through my angry and blind words spread by an irresponsible act (the mass sending of the entry through email) by some unknown individual.
The bottom line here is that after three years, Thornhill doesn't mean anything to me anymore. The people mentioned within the rant don't mean anything more. I have moved on, and don't ever plan on settling there for as long as I live. There's no point for me to be angry anymore. It simply exists. I can't do anything about that, except let the thing live on its own.
I don't even want to put my neck out here. I've been advised by everyone that there is no point, that it's over and done with. But it's not, as long as people keep forwarding that entry. It's a twenty minute anger driven rant that has lain dormant for three years and it must be known that I have no ill will towards anyone in the city. Believe me this is not my style. My self destructive behaviour has no room to bring down anyone who doesn't deserve it, but if they did deserve it (which they don’t) it would definitely not be in some gay fashion as sending it out to the entire population through the internet. If I ever had something to say to someone I encounter them first hand, at a proper place and time in which issues could be discussed in a civilized fashion. This you can get testimony of from the few people who I still keep in contact with in Thornhill. But unfortunately somebody thought that this rant was worthy of being mass forwarded. I’d like to speak to the guy who initially started this whole thing. I’m actually pissed off that some knob ripped off my work that was emotionally driven and [while stupidly put on the net] meant to be kept private.
Fuckin’ hell, I wanted to leave without saying goodbye, without letting anyone know I was gone. I never wanted to leave any sort of mark on the town that I had been there, except for some obscure grad photo hanging in the hallways. I could still do that by simply shutting up and erasing this whole thing, but despite my overt asshole tendencies, I feel that it's my responsibility to let people understand the situation so it doesn't, like everything else in Thornhill does, get blown out of proportion. I would like for this to be copied and forwarded to people who received the rant. It's the best I could do to try and unravel yet another rumour that has popped up in a "quaint" little suburban town. If you are a friend of or one of the individuals mentioned in the rant, I apologize for any hardship or misgivings you may have encountered. It was simply emotional fuel that drove me to put my words out into form, nothing more was ever meant to come by it. And I hope you could look past that to kind of
understand the things I was going through in life, the same way you’ve gone through enough of your own issues with respect to growing up and trying to find your place in the world.
So to sum it up in short for those of you who skimmed this thing:
- This is an outdated rant, three years old and only getting older.
- I was confused, angry, and highly volatile when it was written
- It was then almost immediately discarded; however I forgot the other place where it was written and it sat there for I guess three years till someone found it and forwarded it to the entire town. I have no idea how long this thing has been circulating for prior to my finding out about it on March 10, 2004.
- I am in the wrong for including the individual’s names and for this I apologize 100 times over for it getting out of hand.
- I have no beef and no thoughts of any of these people and wish no ill will to anyone. Live and let live.
- Thornhill merely exists. It lives and breathes with the lives of everyone in it.
- I am not part of that being nor do I ever wish to be so again.
Please forward this entry to the same people who recieved the
rant.
Open to discussion...but I still think the person was correct to write what he did though in rage and slight drunkenness.
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